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Resolving Conflict with honesty

When resolving conflict, here are 2 very important principles or keys to remember:

1. Honesty.  Without total honesty, attempts at resolving conflict will be a waste of time. Remember that you usually try to resolve conflict with people with whom you have a relationship – a relationship with a future. In such relationships there is no room for deceit and lies.  If one hides things from each other, that are related to the conflict, then the problem cannot be resolved properly and will come up again later. Yet, we must practice honesty with diplomacy.

2. Speak with a gentle tone. Speaking in harsh tones communicates displeasure. For most people this is experienced as a form of punishment. When they were children, their parents spoke to them in harsh tones, when they did something wrong. It was a form of punishment, or the prelude to being punished. When we are harsh, people feel threatened and will become defensive. When one is being defensive, one will not want to see one’s own faults and apologize for causing an offence. Then conflict cannot be resolved. But when we speak gently to others we are communicating love and care to them. Most times people will respond positively.

I am always honest
I control myself when I am angry
I speak in gentle tones

Arnfried Klein-Werner
Motivator & CEO – Be Motivated Today

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June 11, 2010 - Posted by | Personal Development

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