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5 Simple Methods for Banishing Negative People From Your Life.

Negative “energy vampires” are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

No Gossiping

It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

No Whining or Complaining

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.

No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.

No Cross Contamination

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.

No Being “Holier than Thou”

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.

Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.

Conclusion:

By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by  practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That’s the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!

By Aaron Potts  

It keeps you back when you have a negative attitude. It’s very important to surround yourself with positive people. Regards. Shaun Douglas. shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

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June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

8 Tips on How to Get Out of Bed Even When You Don’t Want To.

Although there are those lucky few who wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to rocket out of bed and start their day, most people need a little bit of help taking those first few steps at the start of a new day.

If you are one of those people, read this list of 8 tips on how to get out of bed and you’ll be amazed at how much actual control you have over those first few minutes of consciousness when you first wake up.

1) Give yourself a mental command before you go to sleep.

This can take whatever form you like, but it would go something like this:

“I will wake up at 5:00am and get out of bed immediately.”

Seem simplistic? It is, which is why it is so effective. By implanting a mental command into your head before you go to sleep, you prepare yourself to be mentally alert the moment that you wake up. I have successfully used this technique for getting up to catch flights or to go on early morning road trips on less than 2 hours of sleep – without even using an alarm clock.

2) Think of your one definite burning desire as soon as you wake up.

As Napoleon Hill alludes to in the book ‘Think and Grow Rich‘, your one definite purpose in life should be something that you desire so greatly that it is the actual driving force behind everything that you do.

Even if you do not think of yourself as being “on a mission” to accomplish great things in life, you are on a mission to do something, either for yourself or for other people.

In either case, however, you can’t do it while you are asleep, so think of that one definite burning desire as soon as you wake up, and remind yourself that sleeping in will not get you closer to that goal.

3) Smile.

Yes, it seems silly. How can a smile help get you out of bed?

For starters, you need to think of something to smile about. Think of something that you are grateful for in your life, and actually physically smile when you think of it.

You can’t just think happy thoughts – that won’t do it. You will be amazed at how much the physical act of smiling will bring your mind into focus on your life, and also start to shake off the cobwebs of sleep.

This has the added bonus of energetically setting yourself up to attract even more things to be grateful for, so you get two perks for the price of one by simply smiling like you mean it!

4) Think of your “want to do” list.

Everyone has tasks they feel that they need to do each day, but in the grand scheme of things, you don’t “need” to do anything. Every single task that you accomplish in life is based on the fact that you want something.

You get up and go to work because you want a paycheck. You get up and exercise because you want to be healthy, lose weight, or accomplish a fitness goal. You get up and help your family get ready for the day because you want them to be happy, or because it benefits you in some way to send them on their way.

By thinking of how you will benefit from accomplishing your tasks, you not only make the entire process about your own desires, but you will also start your day with a positive attitude, rather than feeling like someone who is simply slaving away at life for the benefit of other people.

5) Think of the benefits that come from getting up and getting your day started.

If you have a morning ritual that you enjoy or that brings an immediate benefit to you – and only you – think about how it will feel to get up and start enjoying that benefit.

For me, my day starts around 5:15am, and includes 30 minutes of total quiet time with a cup of coffee and an enjoyable assessment of my personal and business accomplishments from the previous day. That 30-minute session is followed immediately by a total mind/body prosperity session while I run or briskly walk outdoors for 60 minutes.

That entire 90-minute period is all about me, and rarely do I even interact with another human being accept for the occasional run in with a fellow early morning exerciser. By the time I am back home by 7:00am, I feel like a million bucks and I am fully energized to focus 100% on another day of personal and business accomplishments.

6) Plan your first “reward”.

Other than the personal benefits that you get from accomplishing that first task or two after waking up, plan the first reward that you will give yourself for staying on track with your sleep schedule.

I am a firm believer in people “giving back” to themselves after accomplishing goals or tasks, so as you are laying in bed trying to motivate yourself to get up, plan the first reward that you will get as a result of rolling out of bed and getting your day started.

Maybe it is a mid-morning or afternoon nap, maybe it is a pleasant lunch with a friend or family member, or it could be something as simple as an hour of “play time” that you give yourself to do whatever you want to do. Make sure you stick to your integrity by not allowing yourself to have that reward unless you get out of bed on schedule!

7) Make a commitment to other people a part of your morning routine.

If you have other members of your household who are counting on you to be up and focused by a certain time of day, that can help motivate you to get up and do exactly that.

No one likes to feel like they let someone else down, and on that some note, most people like to feel wanted or needed. By making commitments to others that you can only accomplish by getting out of bed on time, you will be motivated to do exactly that.

Caveat: Remember, though – it is imperative that you do things for other people because you want to. If it starts to feel like a chore, or that it is expected of you, it will actually have the opposite effect, causing you to feel like a worker, rather than a trusted friend, family member, or co-worker.

Put yourself on a schedule that is non-negotiable.

Depending on what your morning routine is, there are very likely things that need to be done during a certain time frame, or it will cause stress or negativity in your life or in the lives of others. By locking your tasks into a certain block of time, you remove the luxury of possibly allowing yourself to sleep in.

Again, using my early morning cardiovascular routine as an example, I have no choice but to do that within a very specific window of time. Summertime in northeast Florida means that the sun is fully up and blazing by 7:15am, and it is already 75-degrees (or more!) and very humid as well. If I am not pounding the pavement by 6:15am at the latest, I will not have 60 minutes to exercise before the sun becomes a debilitating factor.

If you use this method of putting yourself on a schedule, make sure once again that you keep the right frame of mind. You put yourself on that schedule because of something that you wanted, not something that you had to do.

By Aaron Potts  

This is a problem most people have. It’s important to have purpose. Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mtysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

7 Ways to Become a Positive Person.

1)  Mind your feelings, Luke!

One of the hardest things about keeping a positive attitude (or about self improvement in general), is remembering to constantly focus on the desired end result.

Life throws lots of negativity at us and it can sometimes get to the point where lashing out against the onslaught is nothing less than self defense. However, if you create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – you will still have created that negative state of mind.

If you need to, bust out your Jedi mind control and get those emotions under control, lest they control you!

2) Take out the Trash

As you learn more and more about having a positive attitude, it may become easier to take on the belief that the higher you get, the more you can look down on others. Don’t do that.

However, no matter how open-minded and understanding you manage to become – even in the face of adversity – there will always be people who regularly insist on bringing negativity into your life. Get rid of them.

Yes, yes, I know. You can’t get rid of your family members, you can’t fire you co-workers, blah, blah, blah. No, you may not be able to completely get rid of them, but you can limit your interaction with them, and you can tell them to take a hike when they are being negative.

What’s the worst that could happen? Some negative family member or annoying co-worker stops talking to you?? Don’t be afraid to tell negative people to get out of your bubble!

3) Reach for the Golden Nuggets

Okay, so what about those situations where there is negative energy, and you just can’t get away? Look for the good!

There is some positive aspect to even the most mind-numbing situations, and by finding that silver lining, you can turn a perceived bad set of circumstances into something that works towards your own interests.

Having trouble figuring out how to be happy about obnoxious teenagers, what is good about your jerk of a boss, or what possible positive outcome could happen as a result of your car breaking down?

Each of these things gives us contrast. They teach us how to behave (or not behave), they teach us to be better prepared, or they simply teach us to enjoy the times in our lives when those circumstances are not present.

Would you really know how to appreciate a roaring fire and a cup of hot cocoa if you had never come close to freezing to death after walking a mile in the snow after your car broke down?

4) Plan your good Samaritan Effort

Every day, plan to do something completely selfless. No, it can’t be something that looks selfless, but is actually all about you. It has to be something that you do for someone else, and you expect absolutely nothing in return.

This act doesn’t have to be some major undertaking, either. Do a chore around the house that you normally wouldn’t do. Bring your co-worker a cup of their favorite beverage from the coffee shop. Buy someone lunch. Help an elderly person load their groceries into their car.

Do something like that every day. In fact, plan it out in advance, so that you are sure to get it done. Can’t see what helping other people has to do with becoming a positive person?

Try it every day for a week and then come back and post a comment on this blog about how great you feel!

5) Plaster a Smile On

When all else fails, smile like you mean it – even if you don’t! Human beings are naturally social creatures, and even if we are in the foulest of moods, by interacting with other people in a positive manner, we start the slow or even sudden climb to feeling more positive.

Whenever I workout at the gym, I have zero interest in talking to other people. I am there to workout, I am very focused, and I would prefer not to be disturbed.

However, when someone motions for me to help them with something, and I begrudgingly take off my headphones so I can hear what they are saying, something miraculous happens:

I help them, or answer their question, and then I feel better afterwards! Even if I just wrap my headphones back around my head and go back to working out in my undisturbed manner, I always feel better for having interacted with and assisted another person.

6) Mainline the Good Stuff

Experience positive and uplifting circumstances throughout each day. It’s just not possible to run around in a negative mood all the time if you consistently experience and appreciate things that you consider to be positive.

Everyone has their own definition of what is positive for them, but here is a brief list of things that you can experience frequently throughout each day:

  • Affirmations – No, not affirmations that you say (although those are great, too), but rather affirmations that you see. Put uplifting messages on your computer wallpaper or around your office, set up your email program to send you affirmations at certain times each day, use your cell phone or PDA to send yourself positive messages and reminders at preselected intervals.
  • Audio content – Listen to empowering audio while you are driving, on your computer, or on your portable music player when you are working out. Again, by constantly inputting positive information, it just won’t be possible to maintain a negative state of mind.
  • Look around – Everyone has things in their immediate surroundings at any given time that they can be grateful for. However, if you don’t take the time to consciously appreciate those things, you will get into the habit of just taking them for granted. Every few hours just stop what you are doing, and for 5 minutes just look around wherever you are and appreciate things that you normally just take for granted.

7) Remember why you Care

And last, but hardly least, remind yourself several times per day (or several dozen!) that you want to have a positive outlook on life, and remind yourself about why you even care.

You can use exercises like those mentioned above all day long, but if you don’t have a true desire to actually have a positive attitude, then these types of activities won’t do you much good. If you choose to live your life as a positive person, then you must have some reason for choosing that path.

Each time a potentially negative influence crosses your path, remind yourself of your reason for wanting to be a positive person. Your desire to be positive will outweigh your desire to have a negative reaction to the outside stimulus, and after awhile this entire process will become second nature.

By Aaron Potts  

Regards. Shaun Douglas. shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

Is the Law of Attraction the Perfect Scam?

Did you ever seen the original Terminator movie?

There was one part where the psychologist is saying that Reese is crazy, and that his belief in the Terminators being from the future is the perfect fantasy because it doesn’t require a shred of evidence.

The Law of Attraction is just like that!

Whether you are a believer or a non-believer there is absolutely no way to prove that you are right – or that you are wrong.

Much like the concept of religion, you see what you want to see when it comes to the Law of Attraction.

Believers will tell you that everything they manifested was a direct result of them properly following the LOA principles.

However, non-believers will try some of the techniques, not see astounding results, and exclaim (if I may borrow James Arthur Ray’s comments):

“This stuff doesn’t work!”

To once again compare conscious creation to religion, most people will say that having faith or belief is the key to invoking the almighty powers that be.

However, just like religion, if you see (or don’t see) results when using the Law of Attraction it is quite impossible to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the LOA was responsible for your results – or lack thereof.

This becomes even more apparent (and non-believers will love this) when the acquisition of dreams by people who use the LOA always and only end up coming about as the result of very down-to-earth and explainable events.

Believers will say that those events would never have happened if it hadn’t been for their faith and proper application of the methods, while non-believers will say that the whole thing is a bunch of nonsense.

Who is right?

What if someone were to come up to you and ask you for irrefutable evidence that your faith in and proper practice of your religion was responsible for some amazing turn of events in your life?

Could you prove scientifically that your religion was the direct and only cause for that turn of events?

And before someone calls out the dogs and wants to burn me at the stake for sacrilege, I am not saying that people should not honor their religious beliefs.Quite to the contrary, actually.

If your belief in your religion and your faith in your deity is what allows you to believe that you need to make a conscious effort to live a proper lifestyle, and that you will be rewarded for doing so, then by all means, please keep the faith.

After all, that is exactly what is expected of LOA believers. There are methods and systems for properly and deliberately creating the life that you want to live, and if you fail to honor those guidelines, you don’t get what you wanted.

So, is the whole Law of Attraction thing just a scam that is being pulled on the world at large just to line the pockets of a few choice individuals?

Or maybe it is just a belief system that provides a guideline for how to live a prosperous and wonderful life.

There is no way to know, because as I mentioned before, the entire thing – whether you believe it or not – does not require a shred of scientific evidence.

You know. Just like religion.

By Aaron Potts  

Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

The Prosperity Power of Ideas.

You are doing no more than demonstrating the expression of your Spiritual consciousness – your true nature – which is the expression of Infinite Power AS you.

This Power within you is responsive to your needs.  Once you learn how to tap into this power, you can manifest all the prosperity that is yours, because you actually are this Power in expression.   And I said that you do this through the power of IDEAS.

I believe no one has a money problem.  They simply have an idea problem.   Now this may sound cold or clinical, but I don’t mean it that way.  I simply mean everyone has the ability to manifest prosperity.

We know that prosperity comes from creating value.  True prosperity is always a vale-for-value exchange.  So when you’re experiencing lack in any area, the first thing to do is to think about how you can create value.   Find the right idea and you find the solution to your lack.

By Randy Gage

Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

Being Stuck.

‘I feel the most fulfilled and perform best when I am helping others in a direct capacity, and am learning in a collaborative work environment.’

I recently told a friend this.  Being able to put such thoughts into concise expression hasn’t always been easy for me.  In fact, in my past, I’ve actually had different ideals, which I’ve gravitated toward.  These ideals had little to do with my aforementioned paraphrase.

I’ve done considerable research on my interests and passions as well as possible career options, which take advantage of the intersection of these areas.  I’ve read numerous books on these subjects, seen documentaries and lectures on the topics, and sought out a variety of mentors and a number of individuals in my own career search and selection.  I’ve even done career assessment through surveys.  I recently took one of these types of career assessments.

The Strong Interest Inventory is based on Holland Codes, and is a common career assessment tool.  I’ve utilized this testing in the past but for some reason my latest assessment provided a new perspective for me, and what I learned was quite revealing.  Not only was the view interesting and relevant to me, but I believe my insights were not unique.  This explains my reasons for writing about this subject.  I believe my thoughts are relevant to many of you as well.

While on a trip to my hometown of Santa Cruz, California, I took time to meet up with David Thiermann to chat about my current career direction.  (I am refocusing from entertainment marketing to mental health.)  In the past, I have worked in a few environments where I perceived people caring more about the work getting done than the conditions under which it was completed.  However, in addition to noticing this, I began to feel a deep disconnect between my own interests and my work.  In bringing this up to David, we began to do some refinement when it came to my own personal ethos.

To give a bit more of a background on the Strong Interest Inventory, I believe it would be helpful to better explain the Holland Codes.  According to Wikipedia, the Holland Codes are as follows:

  • Realistic – Someone who enjoys working with his or her hands, tools, machines, and things.  Someone who is practical, hands-on, mechanically inclined or tool-oriented, and physical.
  • Investigative – Someone who enjoys working with theory and information.  Someone who is analytical, intellectual, scientific or explorative.
  • Artistic – Someone who is non-conforming, original, independent, chaotic and creative.
  • Social – Someone who is supporting, helping, healing/nurturing, and enjoys cooperative environments.
  • Enterprising – Someone who is persuasive and enjoys selling, dominating, promoting, status, and enjoys competitive environments, leadership and leading.
  • Conventional – Someone who is precise, orderly, organized, detail-oriented, clerical, and who has perfect attention to detail.

Of course these self-rating and selecting types of surveys can vary by moment.  At the exact moment I took this test with David, he found me to be feeling most capable and motivated toward the Social, Enterprising and Artistic categories.  The most interesting part about this experience was David’s comment about our society and how it tends to treat Social categories.  David mentioned that in his experience, he’s noticed that society tends to encourage people within the Social category to move toward Enterprising paths.

BAM!  His statement hit me like a ton of bricks.  Not only did I feel this exact stigmatization toward my Social skills and Social career options growing up, but I perpetuated them by believing that I could excise them by working in “Social” settings, parameters and frameworks within the field of marketing.  Upon further reflection, leadership and management were, and are, of incredible interest to me.  As I see it now, my main issue within my experience in entertainment marketing was that in order to achieve leadership roles, I needed two specific things which I did not have at the time: patience and active mentors.

I believe my issues surrounding “patience” are based on the fact that I didn’t enjoy my work.  It gave me little in return for a lot of hours of hard work, commuting and stress.  It paid the bills and developed my skill set, but the work was incredibly dull for me.  What I wasn’t thinking about at the time was that I valued helping others not the work itself; and, in order to make my way up the corporate ladder, I would need to prove myself in an career path which provided little return back to me.  What a revelation!  I only wish I could have made this distinction a bit sooner in my life.

This is not to suggest that by working in more Social environments I will not run into political situations, frustrations, people who are burned out and miserable, and need to exercise patience on a regular basis.  However, when I was able to put my career into a Social framework, for me, the pieces began to better fit together and my current direction made much more sense.  My purpose is helping others, not about persuading, selling and dominating.  I enjoy collaborative environments.  Though I appreciate competitive environments, when it comes at the expense of other individuals it becomes intolerable for me.  Now that I have had this realization, what is left for me to do?  Simple.  Now I need to take the next step.  I need to figure out a way to tap into more S.E.A. tasks and farm out as many of the C.I.R. tasks as possible.  This may seem like a simple concept but in better understanding it, it is truly making a monumental difference.

This post is meant to serve as a reminder to you that no matter much effort and energy you put into your life, you are only going to be able to achieve a level in life that you permit yourself to through such vessels as reflection, dedication, motivation, honesty, openness and risk.  Even when you believe your current path to be absolute in its representation of your own life, life can still surprise you.  I know it recently did for me.  I encourage you to reflect on your own paths and see how you can better tune in to your life whether it is through a career coach, therapist, and friend or loved one.  As in the wise words of my dear friend David: “When people stop going through transitions, they stop growing.”

by Nick Holt

Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

How to Harness Ideas for Your Prosperity.

ast week I suggested that there is a spiritual substance all around us that can be manifested into prosperity, and that to do this involved raising your consciousness.  The next post I went farther and said you do this through the power of ideas.  Let’s explore this deeper…

Mark thought I must be smoking the good stuff and suggested that my premise was flawed.  He cited the example of medieval people and how they were busy all day simply with survival needs and certainly couldn’t just use positive thinking or raising their consciousness to manifest prosperity.  But is that really true?

Let’s take a look…

I’m writing this aboard a Boeing 757 aircraft stretched out in the First Class cabin, dining on Parmesan-crusted chicken breast and ice cream sundaes with a 30 channel entertainment system.   Now I think we’d all agree, those folks in Medieval times probably weren’t imagining or visualizing they could be travel in this manner.

But the raw materials to make every component of this aircraft were available, even back then.  But no one had that idea, because they needed to have some other ideas first.  Ideas like creating steel, harnessing electricity, man being able to fly, and a host of others.

Those ideas came over a period of centuries as man’s consciousness developed.  But that is the process that took place.

Do you realize in our lifetime, we will likely be able to take a vacation to the moon, buy a condo on the bottom of the ocean with a beautiful coral reef view and transplant (or re-grow) arms and legs?  All through the power of ideas.

Now let’s talk practical application, for someone struggling to manifest prosperity right now.  For example Jay, who came to one of my prosperity classes.  He’s a nurse working at a government hospital.  It’s a civil service position and he’s at the highest pay level, so he told me that ideas won’t work for him; he can’t even get a raise.  So he said that my premise was false.

Then I asked him what was stopping him from going into business for himself, and opening up a home health care service.  And not just any service, but the best one!  One that guaranteed the most comprehensive, pampering home health care available anywhere.

Imagine if you’re Bill Gates, Richard Branson or some other very wealthy individual and you got ill.  Wouldn’t you be willing to pay whatever it took to get the very best healthcare for you or a loved one?

So what was the difference between what Jay said and what I said?  An idea.

So I’ll say it again.  No one has a money shortage.  What they really have is an idea shortage.

By Randy Gage

Regards. Shaun Douglas. shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

How to Deny the Devil of Procrastination.

A couple of days ago, sadly, shockingly, one of my dear friends took her own life. I will miss her largely, and will treasure her joy, laughter, incredible energy, savory jokes, smile, and her love of people. She was a special jewel, and I hope she knows how special she was, even in her afterlife.

When these unforgettable and unexpected events occur in life, I struggle to understand “the lesson.” I believe that my girlfriend is in a more peaceful place, so the lesson is really for me.

My friend was on a roll. But it wasn’t a good roll; it was a downward roll, worsened by procrastination. There were other things involved of course, but I feel that the “devil of procrastination” ultimately took her down. Others may say it was “finances,” or “depression,” but I think her finances could have been mended and the depression would have lifted, had procrastination not been running amuck. It all snowballed and grew into the ultimate procrastination…the procrastination of living, and then…the end of her life.

That got me thinking about how to break the downward spiraling cycle of procrastination before it spins completely out of control and leads to emotional madness. Procrastination is a sensation of fear, a secondary fear and a cover for an original fear, so by the time we identify it; procrastination is a clue we haven’t been dealing well with initial issues. Now we have secondary issues to conquer before solving the primary issues. We must stop the procrastination right away.

Here my scheme to break the hold of the Devil of Procrastination. This is not time management, it is Procrastination Management:

  1. List things you have been procrastinating, call it your Procrastination Management List (you know what they are.)
  2. Now break each item in the list down into the smallest possible micro-parts.
  3. Rewrite the list and title it your Micro-Success List.
  4. Give yourself permission to accomplish only 1 item on the Micro-Success List per day. No more, no less.
  5. Start all over at the beginning of each month with a new “ Procrastination Management List,” break it down into small pieces and create a new Micro-Success List for the month.
  6. Make a thankful list recognizing each micro-success accomplished in the prior month.

This takes about 20 minutes for the initial list and 15 minutes a day, and will prevent you immeasurable heartache. Using this scheme, you can gently bring yourself out of denial (and immobilization); and into a pattern of allowing yourself to experience small successes.

The Devil of Procrastination will taunt us with our failures. As you experience micro-successes, you begin to feel better and can ignore the taunts and negative self-talk. As you feel better and more energized, you accomplish what you thought you were too afraid to do. As you express thankfulness for things accomplished, more fears dissolve! Now you are on a roll. A good roll.

However, if procrastination fears have taken over, we forget “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and that it really does help to “eat an elephant just one bite at a time!” The Procrastination Management method above applied for just 15 minutes a day, will convince us that we truly can conquer Rome, or whatever we set out to do!  Did procrastination take my friend.? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it was just her time to go. Goodbye, V.C. RIP.

 by Deborah Nelson <!–

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Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

Which Wolf Do You Feed?

On any given day, I wake up full of gratitude. I count up my hours of sleep, take a moment to recount any dreams, and just generally check in with myself and how I feel. Then my husband and I spend some time talking and communicating with each other.

Yesterday morning, however, was different. Gratitude was replaced by anxiety as I counted up my sleep and decided it was enough. I stopped only briefly to ask my husband in passing whether he’d slept well. In retrospect, I was feeding the wrong wolf, but there I went, wandering further in the wrong direction.

I started worrying about time, and specifically lack of it. Check-in for our flight was at 8:00, it was now nearly 6:30, and I stood in my pajamas wondering if the weather was going to be a problem. Heavy rains were just starting, and were scheduled to get even heavier. As I started getting ready, I pictured every kind of weather-related plane disaster imaginable.

Is Anxiety Controlling You?

When we got to the airport, there were no delays, which I thought was a good sign. In the plane, I was glad to find a place to stow my bag, and then the anxiety started creeping back into my thoughts. Get out of the aisle, you’re in the way, the chances of you and David dying together in a plane crash are infinitesimal. The thought comforted me in an odd way. I went further with my theories: I’ve known two people who died on planes, so the chances of it happening to me as well are pretty much non-existent. But there’s always terrorism. Could any of these people be carrying a weapon?

I had to step in and intervene in this line of thought. The way I was going, toward total insanity and paranoia, was neither helpful nor enjoyable. I reminded myself that every time I’ve ever taken a flight, I do this same thing – I look for ways that things could end in death, and guess what? I’m still alive.

I decided to lay down the law with myself. I could either spend the rest of my life avoiding flying and worrying about terrorists, or I could just accept the great Divine that is God, and that I have a purpose on the earth that I am here to fulfill. When that mission is over, it’s over, and no amount of anxiety or stress is going to affect that. Admitting that to myself, hearing that truth in my head, allowed me to relax and enjoy the rest of the journey.

Overcoming Anxiety And Fear

This is a far cry from how I was in earlier years, not even able to venture out of my house, much less get on an airplane. Without medication, it was a certainly a struggle to heal my anxiety disorder, but now, on the plane, I could enjoy the luxury of feeling pleased with how far I’ve come.

I’d like to take a moment to tell another old story. There was a Shaman who, on the night of each full moon, would sit with the village children and recount the story of the white wolf and the dark wolf. These were two wolves who had been adversaries since the dawn of time. The white wolf thrives on truth, kindness, and love. The dark wolf, on the other hand, gains his strength from hatred, fear, and lies. The two wolves would battle again and again, and each time the children heard the story, they would ask which wolf wins in the end. The shaman’s answer was simple: “The wolf that wins is the one you feed!” And so it is.

By Maryanne Comaroto  

Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Personal Development | Leave a comment

What about your words.

Hi

We often limit ourselves by what we say to ourselves, and to others.

Things like:

”I can’t seem to get out of this hole”
“We can’t go on for much longer”
‘I don’t know what I’m going to do”

Have you ever noticed how you say to yourself: “I can’t do that”. And then 2 hours, 2 days or 2 months later you have done it?
Why even say it in the first place?

Rather say: “I can do that!”

The words we say can be like dirt in the carburettor of a motor car. They slow us down and make us splutter instead of going like a rocket.

Keep reminding yourself that you can.

Affirmations:
I encourage myself
I don’t limit myself
I can do anything

With Fond Regards

Arnfried Klein-Werner
Motivator & CEO – Be Motivated Today

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Regards. Shaun Douglas shaun.douglas@mysmartmindset.com

June 28, 2010 Posted by | Be Motivated Today | Leave a comment